The fun I mentioned finding isn't always there after all. Or maybe it is during the wait between rides that the fun seems gone. I'm still working that out. 


I just listened to Long Way to Happy by Pink and figured out where I am right now. I'm definitely long beyond the old ride at the old amusement park.There is NOTHING I miss about that place or ride. But I still want to find what I thought I had at the old place on the old ride. And I'm afraid I never will. I'm not sure I have the patience to keep looking, or the endurance to keep trying new parks and coasters until I find the right one. Or that I won't recognize it when I see it. Or that I'll give up looking and become distracted with other, easier to achieve goals in life. Or that finding the right park and the right ride isn't what I should be doing. 


I'm confused. And I'm still recovering from the collapse. Funny how knowing I don't miss that place brings its own grief and tears, that moving on is as painful as the fall even when I know I'm moving to a better place.