I have continued my research and study in the past 2 weeks. I want to be further ahead but I am learning I cannot rush the process. My advisers continue to remind me of this when I become impatient with myself.
Today I am celebrating the progress I have made. I am not looking back all the time. I have moved even further away and can only see a faint outline of where I used to be... more like heat waves off the pavement or from the ashes of the rubble.
I am starting to feel "normal" again. I have stopped trying to understand the design of the old ride. It just didn't work. I don't need to know why any longer. I am looking for a new design that works for me now and from now on.
I'm in the middle, the space between.... what was and what will be. I am not stuck in neutral. I am reviewing the possibilities, examining the designs, and taking my time before choosing. I am making a list of all the pieces I want included. This ride will not be box-like. It will not be one- or two-dimensional. It will be designed by and for me rather than for others. Sticking with the musical theme... it's my life!
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