Now that almost everything is out of the old place and most of what I am keeping is in the new place, I am surprised how good I feel, how comfortable life is right now. Yes, there are moments of pain and tears. The pain is dull and hollow, the tears don't usually fall, and it all passes fairly quickly. The intensity of grief has softened into the beginnings of hope for the future. Sometimes this still surprises me, how the hope grows like new growth after a fire.


I'm also a little surprised at how I am choosing to spend my time right now. Most of the work at the old place is done. I stop by daily to get the mail, to check on the place, and sometimes to do one of the few remaining tasks I have to do there. I spend more time at the new place doing things I want to do. I don't mind the quiet life I am building here. I don't think this is how I want to spend the rest of my life, but as I continue to heal from the wounds of the fall, I am choosing to rehabilitate in this cozy place, filled with things I am choosing to keep in my life, decorated in colors I have chosen and that I enjoy.


I need to be less sedentary and still have plenty to sort through and put away or rearrange. I want to get back to exercising as much as possible and at least 3 times/week.