The things I need and want to do are simple. But not easy. I catch myself in old thought and feeling patterns that bring me down. When I recognize the patterns, I stop and crawl out of the hole I've created. Some days recognition comes quickly. On some days I feel like Sisyphus.  

More and more I re-realize it is up to me to create the reality I want. It is not going to just drop into my lap. After almost 50 years of being passive, of letting life happen to me or of just letting it happen without providing much guidance, this is a huge habit to break. 

Today I made several steps toward the life I want. And that feels good.