Trying to build something completely on my own is not going to work the way I want it to - I am making wrong assumptions about the foundation and about how things work. Which means my design will be faulty and I have had enough of that not to want to repeat the same mistake. So, I'm listening to the wisdom and experience of others. And I need to give myself a chance to figure out what I really want to build, and not expect the answers immediately. I also need to stop reaching for perfection. If I try to make everything perfect, I will never build anything. 

Back to the drawing board...