I am determined to build this one piece at a time. The foundation will be solid. And as I take control, yet let go and let God, the fear subsides. Sadness remains and will for a while. I rode that ride for 4 years. There were parts of that ride I will miss. I won't miss how it unexpectedly changed and threw me for loops I had no idea were coming. There is a wide line between trusting the ride is safe even when I'm not sure where it will take me and turning into a free fall into a pit of darkness from which there is no way out. Or a ride with pieces missing. Cars derail too easily when pieces are missing and people get hurt. 

I am going to keep going. One piece at a time. One day at a time. With my family and friends cheering me on.