Today brought a different kind of roller coaster. My 16 year old is going to Spain for a month. Her flight leaves any minute now from Boston to Madrid and then she has another short flight to Alicante, where she will be staying. I'm nervous and excited for her at the same time. We tried to talk on the phone last night but she was somewhere the reception wasn't very good. I spoke with her this afternoon as they were leaving for the airport. She is a little nervous and getting excited. I'm glad she will have this opportunity and  scared for her safety so far away in a different culture. When we hung up, I wanted to cry. She will be gone for a month.

My "baby" who is 14-1/2 is going to the U.K. in July with a group. Since they speak English there, and he will be with a group, I am not as afraid for his safety. But it is still a long way away. He will be gone for about 3 weeks.

Parenting is NOT for sissies. 

Father's Day has been tough, too. I have nothing to celebrate and no one to celebrate with. It's just another day and one in which most of my friends are even more involved with family events than usual. Thankfully, I have a long to do list and the physical work does help significantly. I also took some time for me - I sat out in the backyard for about an hour reading and drinking a strawberry smoothie with rum. I still have quite a bit to do and most of it physical - sorting and packing books, then packing the car for my trip to CT tomorrow. 

I am taking great satisfaction from the work I am doing and the results of my efforts. The house is really starting to look as good as it can and the clutter is almost all gone. 

I have thought about my writing, what I want to say and how I want to say it and have come to the conclusion this blog is not the forum for the ideas that have been coming to mind lately. I will have to start another blog for that. 

I did wonder today, as I was shoveling up leaves, some of which were starting to turn into mulch on the back deck, why I am The Little Red Hen. Why do I like that role? Why do I take it on, letting everyone else off the hook? Wouldn't I be better off to work this hard with a partner, someone to be by my side, helping me or me helping him? Do I just want things done MY way? Am I trying to prove something? If so, to whom? Have I always been this way or is it more so since I moved to Maine? Is it the Yankee influence or the result of being a single parent with the burden of a dead marriage off me?

The Circle of Life... nice song from The Lion King. My song should be: The Circle of My Mind.